10 The disciples say to him, If this is the position of a man in relation to his wife, it is better not to be married.
Let water from your store and not that of others be your drink, and running water from your fountain. Let not your springs be flowing in the streets, or your streams of water in the open places. Let them be for yourself only, not for other men with you. Let blessing be on your fountain; have joy in the wife of your early years. As a loving hind and a gentle doe, let her breasts ever give you rapture; let your passion at all times be moved by her love.
A foolish son is the destruction of his father; and the bitter arguments of a wife are like drops of rain falling without end. House and wealth are a heritage from fathers, but a wife with good sense is from the Lord.
In my opinion then, because of the present trouble, it is good for a man to keep as he is. If you are married to a wife, make no attempt to get free from her: if you are free from a wife, do not take a wife. If you get married it is not a sin; and if an unmarried woman gets married it is not a sin. But those who do so will have trouble in the flesh. But I will not be hard on you.
But it is my desire for you to be free from cares. The unmarried man gives his mind to the things of the Lord, how he may give pleasure to the Lord: But the married man gives his attention to the things of this world, how he may give pleasure to his wife. And the wife is not the same as the virgin. The virgin gives her mind to the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in body and in spirit: but the married woman takes thought for the things of the world, how she may give pleasure to her husband. Now I say this for your profit; not to make things hard for you, but because of what is right, and so that you may be able to give all your attention to the things of the Lord.
It is right for a wife to be with her husband as long as he is living; but when her husband is dead, she is free to be married to another; but only to a Christian. But it will be better for her to keep as she is, in my opinion: and it seems to me that I have the Spirit of God.
But to the younger widows say No: for when their love is turned away from Christ, they have a desire to be married; And they are judged because they have been false to their first faith; And they get into the way of doing no work, going about from house to house; and not only doing no work, but talking foolishly, being over-interested in the business of others, saying things which they have no right to say. So it is my desire that the younger widows may be married and have children, controlling their families, and giving the Evil One no chance to say anything against them, For even now some are turned away to Satan.
Worthy.Bible » Commentaries » Matthew Henry Commentary » Commentary on Matthew 19
Commentary on Matthew 19 Matthew Henry Commentary
Chapter 19
In this chapter, we have,
Mat 19:1-2
We have here an account of Christ's removal. Observe,
Mat 19:3-12
We have here the law of Christ in the case of divorce, occasioned, as some other declarations of his will, by a dispute with the Pharisees. So patiently did he endure the contradiction of sinners, that he turned it into instructions to his own disciples! Observe, here
Their question is, Whether a man may put away his wife for every cause. That it might be done for some cause, even for that of fornication, was granted; but may it be done, as now it commonly was done, by the looser sort of people, for every cause; for any cause that a man shall think fit to assign, though ever so frivolous; upon every dislike or displeasure? The toleration, in this case, permitted it, in case she found no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her, Deu. 24:1. This they interpreted so largely as to make any disgust, though causeless, the ground of a divorce.
From hence he infers, What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Note,
But Christ tells them there was a reason for this toleration, not at all for their credit; It was because of the hardness of your hearts, that you were permitted to put away your wives. Moses complained of the people of Israel in his time, that their hearts were hardened (Deu. 9:6; 31:27), hardened against God; this is here meant of their being hardened against their relations; they were generally violent and outrageous, which way soever they took, both in their appetites and in their passions; and therefore if they had not been allowed to put away their wives, when they had conceived a dislike of them, they would have used them cruelly, would have beaten and abused them, and perhaps have murdered them. Note, There is not a greater piece of hard-heartedness in the world, than for a man to be harsh and severe with his own wife. The Jews, it seems, were infamous for this, and therefore were allowed to put them away; better divorce them than do worse, than that the altar of the Lord should be covered with tears, Mal. 2:13. A little compliance, to humour a madman, or a man in a frenzy, may prevent a greater mischief. Positive laws may be dispensed with for the preservation of the law of nature, for God will have mercy and not sacrifice; but then those are hard-hearted wretches, who have made it necessary; and none can wish to have the liberty of divorce, without virtually owning the hardness of their hearts. Observe, He saith, It is for the hardness of your hearts, not only theirs who lived then, but all their seed. Note, God not only sees, but foresees, the hardness of men's hearts; he suited both the ordinances and providences of the Old Testament to the temper of that people, both in terror. Further observe, The law of Moses considered the hardness of men's hearts, but the gospel of Christ cures it; and his grace takes away the heart of stone, and gives a heart of flesh. By the law was the knowledge of sin, but by the gospel was the conquest of it.
The law of Moses allowing divorce for the hardness of men's hearts, and the law of Christ forbidding it, intimate, that Christians being under a dispensation of love and liberty, tenderness of heart may justly be expected among them, that they will not be hard-hearted, like Jews, for God has called us to peace. There will be no occasion for divorces, if we forbear one another, and forgive one another, in love, as those that are, and hope to be, forgiven, and have found God not forward to put us away, Isa. 50:1. No need of divorces, if husbands love their wives, and wives be obedient to their husbands, and they live together as heirs of the grace of life: and these are the laws of Christ, such as we find not in all the law of Moses.
Christ speaks here of a twofold unaptness to marriage.
Now,
Mat 19:13-15
We have here the welcome which Christ gave to some little children that were brought to him. Observe,
They desired that he would put his hands on them, and pray. Imposition of hands was a ceremony used especially in paternal blessings; Jacob used it when he blessed and adopted the sons of Joseph, Gen. 48:14. It intimates something of love and familiarity mixed with power and authority, and bespeaks an efficacy in the blessing. Whom Christ prays for in heaven, he puts his hand upon by his Spirit. Note,
Methinks it has something observable in it, that, when he had done this, he departed thence, v. 15. As if he reckoned he had done enough there, when he had thus asserted the rights of the lambs of his flock, and made this provision for a succession of subjects in his kingdom.
Mat 19:16-22
Here is an account of what passed between Christ and a hopeful young gentleman that addressed himself to him upon a serious errand; he said to be a young man (v. 20); and I called him a gentleman, not only because he had great possessions, but because he was a ruler (Lu. 18:18), a magistrate, a justice of peace in his country; it is probable that he had abilities beyond his years, else his youth would have debarred him from the magistracy.
Now concerning this young gentleman, we are told how fair he bid for heaven and came short.
In answer to this, Christ specifies several, especially the commandments of the second table.
Our Saviour here specifies second-table duties only; not as if the first were of less account, but,
Now,
It was commendable also, that he desired to know further what his duty was; What lack I yet? He was convinced that he wanted something to fill up his works before God, and was therefore desirous to know it, because, if he was not mistaken in himself, he was willing to do it. Having not yet attained, he thus seemed to press forward. And he applied himself to Christ, whose doctrine was supposed to improve and perfect the Mosaic institution. He desired to know what were the peculiar precepts of his religion, that he might have all that was in them to polish and accomplish him. Who could bid fairer?
But,
Yet something of honesty there was in it, that, when he did not like the terms, he went away, and would not pretend to that, which he could not find in his heart to come up to the strictness of; better so than do as Demas did, who, having known the way of righteousness, afterward turned aside, out of love to this present world, to the greater scandal of his profession; since he could not be a complete Christian, he would not be a hypocrite.
Mat 19:23-30
We have here Christ's discourse with his disciples upon occasion of the rich man's breaking with Christ.
Now,
Lord, saith Peter, we have forsaken all. Alas! it was but a poor all that they had forsaken; one of them had indeed quitted a place in the custom-house, but Peter and the most of them had only left a few boats and nets, and the appurtenances of a poor fishing-trade; and yet observe how Peter there speaks of it, as it had been some mighty thing; Behold, we have forsaken all. Note, We are too apt to make the most of our services and sufferings, our expenses and losses, for Christ, and to think we have made him much our debtor. However, Christ does not upbraid them with this; though it was but little that they had forsaken, yet it was their all, like the widow's two mites, and was as dear to them as if it had been more, and therefore Christ took it kindly that they left it to follow him; for he accepts according to what a man hath.
Now their honour being adjourned till the Son of man's sitting in the throne of his glory, intimates,
Now,
Our Saviour, in the last verse, obviates a mistake of some, as if pre-eminence in glory went by precedence in time, rather than the measure and degree of grace. No; Many that are first, shall be last, and the last, first, v. 30. God will cross his hands; will reveal that to babes, which he hid from the wise and prudent; will reject unbelieving Jews and receive believing Gentiles. The heavenly inheritance is not given as earthly inheritances commonly are, by seniority of age, and priority of birth, but according to God's pleasure. This is the text of another sermon, which we shall meet with in the next chapter.